The Procrastinator’s Creed

July 3, 2007 in Funny, Tips

I’m definitely a procrastinator.  Whether it’s writing a paper for college or cleaning my room at home (I’m pretty productive at work, because I don’t want to get fired), I always tend to procrastinate.  Luckily, lifehack.org offers some help for those of you who are like me in this article, Overcome Procrastination Once and For All.

Each of these can be reduced down to the pleasure/pain principle which says that we do things to gain pleasure and to avoid pain. What follows is a method to overcome procrastination on the things that matter and to jettison excess baggage in your to-do list that only serves to weigh you down.

Now, beating procrastination is all well and good, but what about those of us who are proud to procrastinate?  I present to you the Procrastinator’s Creed:

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.
8. If at first I don’t succeed, there is always next year.
9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
13. I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (The Procrastinator’s Society) if they ever get it organized.